Censored

I was perplexed by the tsk-tsk, shame-shame and hush-hush. The incident was not "dirty," "sinful" or "shameful." It was a humorous reminder of our humanness. There is truth to the adage "You can't fool Mother Nature" - no matter how unfortunate the timing or painful embarrassment.

As an art major and art lover I'd seen enough "art" nudity to be well beyond the immature, sophomoric titters of laughter and giggles at the sight of a naked body.  

Naked human beings have been chiselled, painted, drawn and sculpted since the beginning of time. Maybe that's why I puzzled over the shock my friends exhibited when they learned my "Life Drawing" class included viewing and sketching live, nude models. (I was an art major after-all.)

Censored. Life Drawing class-1982

Most of the students in the Life Drawing class were fellow art majors, but not all. Some non-art students were taking the class to fulfill a fine arts credit. I understood their discomfort. Even I felt a twinge of anxiety upon entering the classroom the first day we were to draw a nude model.

The young male model sat amidst sheets and pillows on an elevated platform at the front of the class. He was robed - for now. Our professor, a nun, (oh the irony) was a professional. She'd been teaching this class for years. She briskly disrobed and "arranged" the model, all the while explaining (did I even hear a word she was saying?) our assignment. She was all business. She might as well have been making a bed. Her calm, no-nonsense manner was reassuring.

The sound of easels being adjusted for proper viewing soon filled the room. Graphite pencils poised, the class began sketching. Engrossed in the difficulty of the task (drawing has never been my strong point)  the models nudity was soon forgotten, or at least became less significant. I better understood the teachers earlier indifference. I realized that sketching nude models isn't suggestive or provocative as the stereotype suggests. It's hard work...and was about to get "harder."

Our teacher slowly moved from desk to desk, absorbed in assisting the students. She was temporarily unaware of a growing crisis at the front of the room. One-by-one the students sketching slowed. Unbeknownst to her, the male model had sprouted an in-your-face, all-out, stand-at-full-attention erection. 

It was a #1 lifetime awkward moment. My head didn't move an inch, but my eyes ping-ponged to the surrounding students. Had they noticed? I didn't dare look around. Nobody did. We all kept drawing like "Hey, doesn't everybody sketch fully erect nude models in art class everyday?" The model was red-faced, obviously his blood flowing. Poor guy. What a champ. He just stood there, stared straight ahead, not moving a muscle - except um...ahem.

 

"I'm going to need more paper" I joked to myself.

He stuck it out another excruciating five minutes. Finally the teacher observed the growing problem. The look on her face was priceless: "Uh-oh, what's this?" She immediately regained her composure and "rearranged" the model. She continued teaching without missing a beat. Much relieved, I flipped to a fresh piece of paper. The newly posed model was now a "rear" view memory.

I admire the professionalism the teacher displayed. Kudos. After all, she could have told him to just beat it. Instead, her actions helped to deflate the models embarrassment. Unfortunately our class never saw that model again. I can understand why he would not desire a return engagement. I hope he didn't feel overly shameful or embarrassed. He did nothing wrong. Mother Nature has rules and some things are simply beyond control. 

Be human - don't ever stop laughing.